Nothing to do with crafting. Mr Milo

I was only going to use this blog for showing my craft work, but under exceptional circumstances I feel the need to share with you all an expected but all the same, a saddening event in my life.
Not everyone will understand or sympathise. My Cat Mr Milo has died. If any of you have read my profile you will know I mention him there.


We were together for 15 years. I got him from a rescue center as a young adult, which makes it longer than any relationship I have had EVER! He had been ill with kidney failure (CRF) for the last 5 years, gradually deteriorating, but seemed happy enough. These last 2 weeks he just plummeted. His mouth was rotting with terrible Ulcers, which meant he was not eating anything. 2 lots of antibiotic injections and cortisone later, nothing changed. Yet his Blood tests did not show severe CRF levels. Maybe it was just age?


The vet did another blood test and discovered he had bone cancer and the blood levels showed that he would not recover. 2 options, put him to sleep or 2 cortisone injections. Well of course he'd already had those.


I decided to take him home and let him die with us, in comfort, in his home. That night he was really bad, I slept downstairs with him, administering water, keeping him comfy, talking to him. I battled all night without sleep as to what to do.


At 7 am he sat bolt upright and had a drink, then collapsed again. I moved him into the dining room, where it would be quieter for him, as Bob has the TV or radio on all day, and settled down next to him.
 He then looked at me directly in the eye. OMG, it was awful. His beautiful yellow green eyes looked grey and dull, and said 'I am suffering so much'. As soon as the vet opened I called him in to put him to sleep. I felt so relieved to of taken away his misery, I definitely made the right decision, but my god, I am devastated all the same.


My lovely Mr Milo, he is no longer here, except laying beautifully wrapped up in the ground.  It is going to be so hard without him. Even Bob who was never a cat person was in bits, much to his own surprise! 


It is the end of the most wonderful epoch in my life. I never had or wanted children, so in some ways I guess Milo was the next best thing, but I always treated him as an adult person not as a child. When we lived in the UK, it was just me and him for years. Those were great times together. 


I am going to miss his cuddles, even though he liked to be a 'face hugger', his chatter and our daily walks. Then there was his role as 'inspector of works' every-time either Bob or myself worked on something outside, he'd come and watch us working.


Today Bob bought me a bouquet of roses, with a note that said lots of love from Bob & Mr Milo.  Lovely idea, but it set me off sobbing again.
I have placed photos of him all around the house. This is not morbid, I just need to get that image of his poor eyes out of my head. I don't want to remember him that way.


We plan to make a shrine type thing where he is buried, somewhere I can go and place things on it and as a point of reference. Not so much for Milo, but more for my own sanity, where I can indulge in self deception by talking to him. 
I am too cynical to believe in life after death, billions of people and animals have died, there's no-one who has ever crossed back over to confirm it. That is just life as it is, the reality. 


I hope you enjoy the photos of my Sweety pie, also known as 'The black assassin'  due to his mouse hunting skills. He was always useless at catching birds lol. 


Reste toi tranquil M. Milo x x x x